You are more than you feel

Many years back there was a famous animated movie about a young girl and her emotions, called “Inside Out”. The movie brought you into the young girl’s mind and her emotions. While it made a good movie, we have to ask if it is a good picture of how we should manage our emotions. 

Emotions are powerful things, especially at a young age, it can feel overwhelming at times. I remember feeling intense periods of darkness and sadness because of some things happening in my teenage years. 

However there is something important we must know: 

How we feel is not who we are 

What do I mean? For example if I feel lousy, my mind will make me think that I am a lousy person as well. However emotions are never meant to be the master of your life. 

What you think or believe about yourself must be based on facts and truths. For me what God says about me is the truth that defines who I am. God says He is my father and that makes me His son. He calls me royalty so that makes me special. He says He has a plan for my life and that makes me secure. 

So it should be the facts and when you act on the right facts, your emotions will naturally align. If you feel you are bad at exams, that doesn’t need to define you. If you feel that you are confused about who you are, look at the facts. Emotions can be confusing so don’t trust them alone. Look for the facts. Most importantly know that you are loved by God and you are specially made by Him. If you are a girl, you are God’s princess. If you are a boy, you are God’s prince. He made you to be who He made you. That is the fact.  

So start finding out more directly from your maker!

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Hi everyone it’s been ages since we’ve posted. And one thing with the online world is that this stuff stays here forever. So to those reading we ask that you treat what you read and what you see with grace and respect. We hope what you read blesses you.

Prosper God's Way!

Following from my previous post, I would like to start looking at how we can prosper in a God-honouring way. 

The thing is to remember that wealth is more than just about money. The way God has designed it is that financial prosperity is a by-product, a result of certain principles.

The first is that your reputation matters more than your bank account balance. The bible puts it this way:

"A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold."

Proverbs 22:1 NKJV

If you have to choose between earning a quick buck and keeping your integrity and faith, it's an obvious choice. The loving favour of God can easily bring us past the loss of income but we may suffer much if we forsake our purity for money that we shouldn't earn.

I recently heard a testimony of a Christian CEO of a listed company. She shared about how she had an empty office space to rent and there were no tenants and results reporting was due. She was surely under immense pressure to improve her P&L. And one day her staff came to her with what should be great news - that they found a potential tenant that was willing to pay 1.5 times the usual rent! 

But there was a dilemma because it was a casino that wanted to rent the space. Should she support something that contradicted her values but would resolve her issue and make her investors and bosses happy? She chose not to and instead went to prayer walk the empty space. 

In the end, the Lord gave her an idea that allowed her to profit millions for her company from this piece of property. 

I hope this true story encourages you to choose a good name and reputation over quick riches.

Money, money, money

One of the most talked about subjects in the New Testament is money. 

According to an article on Preaching Today: "Jesus talked much about money. Sixteen of the thirty-eight parables were concerned with how to handle money and possessions."

I've often heard this question from young people about how to handle their money. So I think to start off, it's important to relook at our own perspective on money.

Take a read of this post from Kris Valloton, a Christian author and pastor from US.

There is so much resistance to prosperity in the Body of Christ. I am not sure why people demonize prosperity and spiritualize poverty because that is definitely NOT the Bible's prospective. In fact, the Bible often speaks of poverty as a byproduct of poor attitudes and behaviors.

First of all was Jesus poor? Well the answer is yes and no! The great apostle Paul explained it like this. "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He (Jesus) was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich."

2 Corinthians 8:9

There are 3 things we can glean from this verse: 

1- Jesus was rich...I would suggest that He is again. 

2- Jesus became poor for a purpose. 

3- He became poor to make us rich. 

Many people are convinced that the rich or wealthy are the only people God warned or corrected in the Bible. But this is simply not true. Here are just a few of the many verses that address the evils of poverty. 

"How long will you lie down, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? "A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest"- Your poverty will come in like a vagabond And your need like an armed man."

Proverbs 6:9-11

"In all labor there is profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." Proverbs 14:23

"Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline, but he who regards reproof will be honored."

Proverbs 13:18

"He who tills his land will have plenty of food, but he who follows empty pursuits will have poverty in plenty."

Proverbs 28:19

For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either."2 Thessalonians 3:10

"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

Ok there are many more but let's look at one more aspect of prosperity and poverty in the New Testament. 

Jesus told two parables (the parable of the talents and the parable of the minas) about how money and investment work in the kingdom. In both cases the servants that took the money their Lord gave them, (1 talents = $30,000 & 1 mina = $500) and made more money, were rewarded. In fact the 2 guys that did well with the minas were given authority over cities! 

Now this is where the story gets ugly...the guys in both stories who refused to take risks and invest their money but instead buried it, were called "wicked and lazy slaves!' But wait it gets even worse; their money was taken away from them and given to the guys who already had the most money. Simply put, the rich got richer and the poor got poorer, or at least that's the way it looked from the outside. Yet, from God prospective He wasn't trying to make the rich, richer, He was simply distributing His wealth to the people who would invest it wisely. But God also took His money away from the lazy and worthless servants, (His words not mine). (See Matthew 25 and Luke 19)

In other words, sometimes wealth and poverty are spiritual powers that empower or proactively disempower people depending on their attitude and effort toward money. 

How important is it that you have God's attitude towards money? Well I would say from the looks of it that your attitude is probably dictating your financial situation. 

Which servant do you relate to in the fore mentioned parables?  The answer could change your life! 

You can find the original article here: https://www.facebook.com/kvministries/posts/10154467818198741

Hopefully over the next few posts I would like us to consider the counsel we have in our life about wealth, money and possessions. 

Love & Sex

//Having a healthy sexual culture//

"The reason we have a sex drive long before we are meant to have sex is so that on the night of your honeymoon you have something precious you fought to on hold to from the battlefield to the bedroom, to give to your lover on the night of your wedding. Everyone can give a gift but only those who recognise the value of sacrifice can give something precious" (paraphrasing Kris Valloton)

We live in a culture that celebrates sex but not love. Why? Because love, like truth, by definition, requires exclusivity. Saying something is true necessarily means that something else isn't true. Likewise to truly love someone is to mean to not love others in that same passion. 

I can love ice cream but surely I cannot mean I love it the way I love my wife and my children. 

Here are some thoughts on the subject:

1. God invented sex and celebrates it because He designed marriage. He even defines His Son's relationship with the church as that of bride and groom.

2. Your virginity is precious because it is a gift that only you can give each other on your wedding night that is not repeatable or replaceable. You can buy another diamond ring but you can't give yourself away like that ever again. 

3. In marriage, sex is about pleasing one another and not just yourself. Apart from marriage, sex is always about pleasing yourself.

4. You never have to fear comparison or performance in your sexual life if it's protected by marriage because you become each other's object of affection. 

5. You don't have to worry about waking up alone because you know it isn't just sex that is keeping your partner with you. If you use sex to keep your dating relationship and hope it baits you a marriage, you will always have to live that way even in marriage. 

6. If a guy pressures a girl into sex it is because he loves himself more than he does you. You are worth the wait - there is someone who values you that much. 

7. People will always try to devalue and demean things that they can't have. They can't have your purity so they want to force you to give it away so that you can be just like them. But it's a lie because you have something to give that they've lost and it's envy on their side, not shame on yours. 

8. When you are cohabiting, you are in it for what you can get. Marriage is about what you can give. People don't want to commit to the ring because they use it as a tool to manipulate and control you. They use the fear of them leaving you to control you. 

9. In marriage and every covenant, it is marked by blood. Just like the marriage act on the night of your wedding, you mark it by the blood of your virginity and your children that come from this relationship have already been covered by the blood of covenant. 

10. Sex creates a bond deeper than the physical. It creates a soul tie between the two partners that is powerful, even spiritual. Outside of marriage these soul ties become the bondages that continue to hurt and follow you. A piece of soul is exchanged. Keep it for marriage!

11. God wants you to be a great partner and lover and to have one as well! 

#sex #marriage #jesus #love

Lead the way daddies!

"Never be reluctant to take on the role of model and teacher of your family's values. If you don't do it, someone else will."

~ John Maxwell

I've trained corporate groups, preached locally and overseas to groups of different sizes. But last night I had the chance to sit down with my children, read a short bible story, ask them questions and hear their replies. We even had a time of Holy Communion together where our 5yo and 3yo prayed on their own over the bread and wine. 

Nothing compares to this moment. That as a dad we have been given a privilege to raise our children in the love and knowledge of Jesus.

I'm not a perfect parent and we don't do this every single night. But I wanted to share this to encourage the other fathers out there that there is a grace over our lives to do this with our children. You will be so surprised by their heart and desire to hear God through you. 

Is it weird? Very much. Is it difficult? Not that hard. Just give it a try with a short children's bible story because heaven is on our side when it comes to doing things like this with our families.

#malachi456

Sept holidays so far!

We are midway through the September holidays. I love the week long holidays because they give us some time to recharge, not having to rush and have our schedule dictated by school runs, meals and naps. I rather like the idea of being somewhat laissez faire in our routines, such that the children do not have to nap by a certain timing, lest we face the ugly 1am sleep monster.

So, what have we done so far? Well, we...

Built a tent
Cooked up a storm
Stayed in a hotel
Sang out our hearts
Painted the skies
Ran around the race track
Played pretend... alot

Heh.

With the exception of Hockey Pokey, we have been staying home really. Both littles took turns to run a fever. S' fever was especially scary, hitting 39.9 degrees one evening. We are praying that N is spared, so that we can continue our holiday plans for the rest of the week.

While the rest of the country is out celebrating and rocking all kinds of learning outdoors, I'm learning to be thankful. For the rest and from escaping the haze. The newspaper advised children, pregnant women and the elderly to avoid being outdoors and i guess since we hit 2 out of the 3 mentioned groups, we ought to heed their advice. :)

Really though, i'm enjoying watching the littles play together. I marvel at how far their imagination can take them and the pure giggles that explode from their exploit of the far ends of the earth. They are at such a precocious age, innocent enough to not demand that i bring them out, but daring and imaginative enough to make the most of what they have. And that i think, defines fun.

Took out our rusty camera to capture their master pieces! This is the first time they are drawing before painting their works in water colour. One depicts a flower garden while the other, a playground scene. Not too bad for children of a lazy mother who finally relented to let her children paint after countless demands!

Tenderhearted

Sometime ago, the little girl went on an excursion and that left the littlest boy with me and a whole day to ourselves. There was no fetching, no rushing around, just the house with all its toys and books.

The day went on as usual until somewhere around the time where we were supposed to fetch his sister.

'Where's JieJie? I want her to come home', he blinked at me innocently.

'She's not coming back today, her teachers brought her out.'

With that, he went about his usual business, pottering around the house, pushing his Thomas train around and pulling books out of the shelves. I thought he was pleased with having mummy all to himself. I myself was rather glad that I managed to pull off some learning with just us - most of our home learning are simplified lessons from his sister's. We also played with trains, read some books and picked up ALOT of toys. Total mummy time!

Recently, I conceded to a friend that there really is no fairness when it comes to having more than one child; in the sense that there is no way of making up for the years of undivided attention that #1 gets for.. well, being #1. With that, I decided that fairness was not as important as observing each child and giving them what they actually need based on their character and temperament (bearing that we have fulfilled their physical needs).

Anyway, back to my littlest boy. Not long after, he began to look aimless and started rolling around the floor, a sign of boredom. I should give him credit for trying to pick himself up, because after that, he attempted different activities, but most of them with one arm supporting his head, much like a bored youngster in class.

And it dawned upon me. Momma isn't as fun as his sister! This little boy missed his sister. The one who orders him around, who tells on him (I confess that I use this trait as a method on keeping tabs on him too) and who squabbles with him on a daily basis. Perhaps these things aren't as significant as the times where they squeal around the house playing tag, or cook up a storm in their kitchen, or pretend to wash the clothes and make a mighty mess of the toilet. Or maybe it is both the fun and the fights that make everything, well, more fun.

I think it's both. I think it's the fact that they have a companion in each other. Never mind that not long ago, one couldn't speak much and the other just started speaking in full sentences. Never mind that they don't always play with each other as much as they do alongside each other. And never mind the fact that often times, they both fight for the same toy and end up being punished with no toys at all. It's just having each other that matters, and they got it right at their very young age.

The two of them always amaze me. Not only by the mess they can garner, or the speed at which they can pull out their toys and books. But mostly, by how tender and soft they are. Their hearts are so ready to give and receive, without fearing that there's not enough left for them. Children are really special, and there's so much to learn from them. I can't wait to see how they interact with the new baby :)

Creating Time

 

When i first started out as a SAHM, i was upset when someone would hint or mention in passing about how much time i have on my hands. I mean, look at me, i get to stay in my PJs and unbrushed hair all day, roll out of bed at 10am and still be in time for breakfast, take naps and watch telly all day long. I thought no one understood that i could barely find time for changing and eating proper meals with two hands, and that feeding a baby 2-3 hours daily meant that i had to sit down and veg in front of the telly, even if i very much wanted to do something else.

But i'm glad to say that over the years, i've gotten alittle more balanced, or blinded by choice, or whatever. Everyone, working or not, have their own difficulties. Sleep has become an elusive concept, so let's all be kinder to one another.

Moving on, let's talk about one of my greatest unsolved mystery - finding time to do something non baby or household related. Like using the computer or getting my nails done or preparing materials to teach the babies. I marvel at how mummies (and yikes, some of them are my friends! So it's true, these people do exist) manage to set up a blog shop, blog frequently, sew (uh huh, that's you!) and play online games while i barely find time to surf the net (no count if it's on my phone).

I thought about it, grumbled to the hubs, sat on it.. and finally after being brutally honest to myself, i settled for a few factors why we find it so so hard to find time. One of them would be my perfectionist streak. I enjoy researching and preparing materials for the babies to learn at home. If i have a perfect lesson set up, with a lesson plan and laminated materials no less, i wake up excited, ready to conquer the world with Mama school. On the flip side, if i cannot find the time to do what i want to do, i.e., planning, printing, laminating.. i find myself stuck and eventually giving it all up. Crazy, i know.

We decided that this perfectionist streak must go, and that i need to work with what i already have. It was tough at first, almost like abandoning my principles, ideals and standards, but eventually it proved to be advantageous on many levels.

The first lesson proceeded with on-the-spot writing and drawings. I thought the children would lose patience and walk away to some toys or kick up a fuss. But i was pleasantly surprised to see that they actually participated and waited till i finished writing and drawing. There was once i had to google to find out how a cartoon dog looked like and Shanah was so entertained by that idea. It dawned upon me then that i was demonstrating to her how to search for answers. By doing things on the spot, the children get to see me pick up a marker, write and learn how things get done (e.g., googling, tearing of paper, etc). They learn by modeling and observing.

Eventually, they did lose patience, but for reasons far from what i feared - they couldn't wait to get their hands on the markers and draw on the paper. And because my materials were far from perfect, i kept the couple of nice ones to display, and threw the rest away. Easy peasy clean up equals plenty of time for free drawing and writing! 

Well, i still love a well planned and thought out lesson with laminated materials and brightly printed illustrations. But i'm learning to let it go till i find the time to do so, and embrace the beauty of working with what i have on hand. Perhaps we can call that creating time?

When attention span runs out, have a child friend tweezer and some pompoms at hand to practise fine motor skills. And when the interest for that runs out, they will start throwing the pompoms all over the house. Have fun picking them up and searching for them under the sofa!

Materials featured: 

Pip squeak markers from Crayola (Non-toxic and water soluble, comes off clothes and floor easily. Stains on fingers may linger for a day or so) 

Large paper roll from Ikea

Tweezers from Learning Resource 

Large pompoms from Daiso (Small ones are choking hazards! Even the large ones are, so do watch your child)

Colourful bowls from Ikea (Comes in packs of 5, in different colours. Good for sorting activities too)

You are not my friend, But i miss you

It's been so quiet in here i thought a book review was perfect to break the silence and the awkwardness. After all, I've been spending plenty of time trying to get my hands on the brand new books in the library and browsing bookdepository.com, imagining what it would be like to own many many new books (crazy person alert). Don't you love the smell of new books?

Title: You Are Not My Friend, But I Miss You 
Author and Illustrator: Daniel Kirk
Suitable age group: 2 - 4 years

We snagged this book from the library and loved it so much we ended up buying a copy for ourselves. The book revolves around a monkey who was upset with his friend, Dog, because the latter snatched his ball from him. The initial part tells us how Monkey was upset because Dog didn't share the ball with him and how he felt that Dog wasn't a good friend.

Monkey went on to prove his point that he didn't need a friend - he could play ball all by himself or with inanimate objects that wouldn't snatch his ball away. However, he would soon find that it really wasn't as fun playing by himself. That was when he realised that perhaps he wasn't a good friend too. The story ends with Monkey being friends again with Dog and promising to share better.

 

We love this book because my 3-year-old is at a stage where sharing and friendships are at a precocious stage - as how toddler friendships can be. She complains about being upset with her friends for various reasons while i know that she isn't completely innocent herself. Toddlers at this age are naturally inward looking, hence I like how this book teaches them to look beyond themselves but to treat others as how they would like to be treated. 

It helps too that the little boy loves anything about balls.

I totally judge a book by it's cover, so illustration wise, i would give the book a 8 out of 10 rating. The brightly coloured pictures draw young ones to the book while the clean pages makes it easy for them to focus on the main idea each page was bringing across. The only reason why i wouldn't give a higher rating for the book is because I'm biased - I love love water colour illustrations and these are not. Haha! 

If you are interested to find out more about the book, you can click here for a short clip on it. Enjoy!